Comments on: Building Trust through Empathy: A Practical Guide

By: Bill Stephenson

Bill Stephenson — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 09:28:21 +0000

Hi Eric, great discussion!
You say (in red letters) that you have never found sales training that focuses on trust-building. You might like to check out a friend of mine, Ken Buist, here in the UK, who has been working in this field for many years, and has trained thousands of sales people internationally. He has built an online Sales Character Index tool to help sales people profile themselves and he teaches programs related to Trust and Trustworthiness. Back in 2002 he wrote a book “Trust Me – Becoming a Trustworthy Adviser” (note UK spelling).

His website is http://www.thetrustedadviser.com

By: Rick Smith

Rick Smith — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 17:33:53 +0000

That is GOOD stuff! Thanks for passing it along.

–David
RetailWire Blog: http://www.retailwire.com/braintrust/blog.cfm/cpg4life

By: Rick Smith

Rick Smith — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 20:39:14 +0000

I couldn’t agree with you more. Too often sales people are so intent on the sale they forget the steps needed to get there. Building a relationship with a prospective client is so much easier if you have a connection in which emapathy has drawn you together. You can develop trust and understanding.

Then the sale can be made and an ongoing relationship based on trust can carry you through the future.

By: Tom Bird

Tom Bird — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 18:51:26 +0000

This is such a key area in sales. I agree that building trust is critical and that it has a number of components. If a buyer is to trust a seller then they need to feel that the seller is competent (has a core level of knowledge that can help inspire trust), integrity (they need to be honest and ethical) and they need to demonstrate benevolence (linked to the idea of reciprocity and involves showing the prospect you are thinking about them through, for example, sending them some information that you think might be relevant to them that may have nothing directly to do with your product or service).

Important to consider also is that just because a salesperson has a level of rapport with the prospect that does not pre-suppose that trust also exists. Rapport & trust are different. The challenge that a lot of salespeople fail to grasp is that for someone to trust us as a salesperson we need to demonstrate or prove that we are trustworthy. This hits at Erics original point that ‘buyers naturally distrust sellers’. The point is that we judge ourselves by our motivations and others by their behaviours. This means that, although I might know that I am trustworthy as a seller, I should not assume that you as a buyer think I am trustworthy – especially if we have only just met! I need to proactively look for ways to evidence my trustworthiness. For me, the three components of integrity, competence and benevolence all help demonstrate trustworthiness.

Good discussion!

Tom Bird
http://www.brilliant-selling.com

By: Nick Gomersall

Nick Gomersall — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 18:50:28 +0000

I read this book “Empathy Selling” and was so impressed I bought the UK rights to it.

Please have a look at my web site http://www.EmpathySelling.com any feed back would be appreciated.

By: Gene Carlino

Gene Carlino — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 18:49:55 +0000

The Founder of Knowledge Advantage- Dave Allman wrote a short story 7-8 years ago called The Dimensions of Success which shows HOW TO put empathy into practice.

http://www.knowledge-advantage.com for a free download.

Short read as I said but takes you through a very real sales cycle contrasting two selling styles that most of us are all too familiar with!

By: Bill Tozer

Bill Tozer — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 18:49:19 +0000

Interesting!. I made the switch from my clinical psychology practice to business development about 13 years ago. When considering a new field of service I soon realized that my skill set was all about helping others solve problems and to create change in their lives. I figured that helping clients succeed by solving problems and creating change would require the same processes and skills be they personal or business oriented issues and opportunities. Sales and business development seemed the natural fit!!

In order to develop trust in any relationship we need to have a handle on our own emotions and realize that thinking (decisions) and emotions are inextricably linked. Your advice to dip into the client’s reality while remaining cognizant of one’s own feelings is sound. I would add that staying in touch with your own agenda and as Mahan Khalsa of Franklin Covey Group would say, “checking your ego at the door” are also very important in building trust.

There has to be reciprocity in relationships but the fastest way to kill trust is to put your interests ahead of the clients’ while pretending not to and thereby come across as manipulative and untrustworthy.

By: Stephen Zarick

Stephen Zarick — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 18:48:39 +0000

Eric, very good. I have been using this phrase for the last several years. We always teach our prospecting team to demonstrate empathy and sympathy to build trust. You are right on with this approach. We need prospects to share either pain or a compelling reason first before we offer our value proposition and definitely before we have the right to pursue an appointment.

By: Zandy Houghton

Zandy Houghton — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:30:55 +0000

Building trust in a business relationship starts right from the second you engage with the prospect, which is why I think it’s vital for any sales person to do their own lead generation.
1. The biggest trust builder is the ability to listen
2. Formulating the right questions that gets the prospect thinking of solutions; regardless of them buying your offering.
3. Bringing up the the things that could potentially prevent the sale going ahead
4. Concentrating 100% on their needs, problems and situation instead of putting your own agenda first
5. Treating the buyer like you would like to be treated yourself
6. Being totally and completely honest with the prospect.

When you are showing respect, trust and honesty, from this very instant you engage, then the prospect can instantly tell the difference.

By: Warren Lillund

Warren Lillund — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:43:26 +0000

Making an empathic connection to the customer is indeed key to a long term enduring relationship. The only sales training that I’ve seen that does more than touch on it is done by John Asher’s group. http://www.asherstrategies.com . I have engaged him both formally for my sales teams’ training and informally as a coach…